Have you met my friend?

Have you ever had the most amazing friend in the world? Someone whom you liked so much that you just wanted to let everyone else know how awesome of a person he was?

A friend you were attached at the hip to. A friend that you weren't afraid to tell anything. A friend whom you wanted to see or speak to every day.

I've had a very select few friends like that throughout my 28 years of existence.

Jesus should be one of them.

However, yesterday God's Spirit convicted me that those aforementioned statements are not true in my relationship to Jesus Christ at this moment in time. I know a whole lot about the Savior of the world. I know what my relationship with Him should look like.

And yet I don't have this overwhelming desire to tell everyone I meet about Jesus. I know I should. But I don't.

Yesterday God was like, "HELLO AMANDA! Wake up there. Are you getting this?!" How could I have an overwhelming urge to tell others about the greatest friend they could ever have if I myself don't really know Him that well? It's one thing to know of someone and it's a completely different thing to know someone very personally.

And you ask, "How can a person "know" Christ for 9 years and not really know Him?" The answer to that is by not taking the time to get to know my Savior. I must confess, it's very difficult for me to pray. I'm a very awkward person, like Ermanguard from the book A Little Princess. I don't usually know what to say, and if I do say something, it's usually not the "right" thing to say at that moment. AWKWARD! So to avoid feeling uncomfortable (yes, being focused on myself) I just avoid the situation.

Don't get me wrong, there are times that I pray and it's God's Spirit making intersession for me because it just comes flowing out all on it's own. But more often then not it's dry and forced and uncomfortable, and so I run from it.

All that to say that God opened my eyes to the need to just sit quietly and learn about Him. When I know Him in a very personal way, then I'll be able to introduce Him to others and want to. Don't get me wrong; I am to tell others about Jesus Christ and the salvation He offers freely even now. What I'm trying to say is that when I have a strong close relationship with my Savior, then I can't help but naturally tell others about my close and special friend, Jesus Christ.

And so the journey begins...