Home sweet home.

We've started to settle into life back in MN, just in time to uproot ourselves again and go spend 3 months visiting Daddy. Such is life. We bought a townhouse back in mid August. We had to wait nearly a month after moving into our home to receive all of our household goods that were in various places (some flown from Korea, others shipped from Korea and still others in storage in AL). The stuff in storage in AL took the longest to get here, believe it or not! Upon moving into this place, I have realized just how much stuff we have that we don't need. I had a pile of stuff from storage that I sold, and other stuff waiting to be taken to the thrift store. We bought a 3 bed/3 bath place, and now I realize we could totally have been fine with a 2 bed/2 bath place. I was hoping, and still am, that a certain sister of mine would move in with us. I mean, who wouldn't want to live with an awesome sister- RENT FREE? But old habits are hard to break. Maybe she'll decide to come occupy our place while we're gone. I hope so.

We have found a homeschooling group that is just wonderful. There are even some *gasp, dare I say*, unschoolers too! It's wonderful when you find a group of people that you just fit in with so easily. I know I dislike the process of making new friends. I know that I'm socially awkward too though. To the average person, I swim against the current in so many ways: from how we "teach" our kids, to parenting styles, to worshipping the Creator, to travel and almost everything in between. I mean, I want so desperately to be friends with people. I'm just not a person of many words. I am a doer. I mean, I can sit down and have some pretty deep conversations with you if you want, but the average person does not want to do that upon meeting someone for the first time (or even for the first few weeks or months). I have the urge to blurt out, "Want to be my friend?" when I meet anyone that even slightly appears to not be offset by my personality. But then I run the risk of completely weirding said person out and being eternally avoided by her. I also carry in the back of my mind that we are very transient here. I don't mind making friends with people, knowing that we will be here 3 months, gone 3 months, here 3 months, gone 3 months... I don't mind. However....most people don't want to invest any time in becoming friends just to have you up and leave every few months. I mean, I would give my left arm to help my friends! But you wouldn't know that unless you let me hang around with you.

Anyways, we get to spend 3 days/3 nights in Iceland on a stopover on our way to see Daddy. It should be fun. I hope it will be fun.

Iceland Country Study

The kids and I are headed to Iceland next month for 3 days. Since we use life to direct our learning, I created an Iceland Country Study for them. You're welcome to download it and use it for yourself. And remember, this is always just a starting point for learning about a new country, place and/or culture. Enjoy!

Here is the link for the PDF

The summer on the road

The kids and I enjoyed our camping trip to St. Andrews State Park in Florida this past weekend. We got to spend a few days with friends from Korea, see Daddy, and do A LOT of swimming. We've now headed northwest to hit up Yellowstone and Grand Teton National Parks. Yesterday we drove over 500 miles. BLAH! So so boring. Today I'm letting them sleep in, then we'll eat breakfast and swim, swim, swim before hitting the road again. Off to the west we go!

We wasted no time getting busy upon returning to the States. In the past 18 days we have visited family, found (and have a purchase contract) on a house, went to Valleyfair, driven over 2,000 miles, travelled through 8 different states (some twice now), camped for 3 nights, sea kayaked, did stand-up paddle boarding, and watched some shows.

Now we're off to camp for the next week. We'll see if I get any good pictures.

Home-ish

Well, I obviously haven't been tending to this blog, nor the travel one lately. And by lately, I mean the past year to year and a half. Something about Korea...everything, and I mean darn near everything, was done via Facebook or Kakao, so I really didn't feel like "reposting" things on the blog.

So hey there! We're back in the good ol' US of A. We landed July 1st and already have a contract on a townhouse in MN. Daniel is off doing training for work the entire summer, so the kids and I are taking the summer to road trip and camp across the USA. We camped in Illinois near the WI-IL border last night. Tonight we crashed at a hotel because I just couldn't keep driving with 2 kids complaining...about not being able to sleep in the car...for another 3 hrs.Tomorrow we camp at the beach in FL for 2 nights with some friends we met in Korea! We're all excited:) After that it's to the Rockies to take in the beauty of the mountains!

I'll have to try to keep the travel blog up to date with our reviews of campsites and sights along the way.

9 weeks and counting

We finally have an RFO! Now we can start the process of getting ready to move, again. The hubby is going overseas to overseas. The kids and I will be trailing along behind him a few weeks later. We will be back in the States for the summer, Daddy having classes spanning the entire width of the 48 States, the kids and I road tripping out west to visit National Parks/Forests/Monuments. I'm excited to do a lot of camping this summer and see the beauty of our nation. My sister and her son are going to join us for our road trip out to Yellowstone (stopping at a few places along the way). It's going to be awesome! My kids can finally spend a nice chunk of time with their cousin when the weather isn't below freezing!!! (Though they had fun learning to surf with him and Auntie in Hawaii...I really should make some posts about that!

The kids are growing like weeds. Little Man has moved out of the toddler phase. Yesterday Daddy and I both commented on how he's changed and looks so much more grown up now. He has got the balancing on a bike down, if only he would let me put the pedals back on the bike, he'd be biking in no time. Princess still going to Korean school. She still loves everything girlie and fashiony (fashiony is her word). She seems to be digressing a little in maturity, but she also knows we are getting ready to move again and that she has no say in the matter. She's stubborn, strong willed and gives me a run for my money. Some days I can't seemed to find any way to get through to her. Spy Girl is as active as ever. She hasn't had another seizure for a few weeks, praise YHWH! She is still a tiny little petite girl (or maybe everyone else around here are giants) who loves to read the Warriors series. The longer we're in Korea, the less she seems to want to speak Korean. I don't know if this is because she is so over being in Korea, or if she's much more self conscious about her ability (or lack there of in her eyes) to speak Korean. Either way it's a little sad to see. Maybe she's like me and just hit a wall in her Korean acquisition. Daddy is doing well. He works a lot, and incase he thought he didn't have enough to do, he just started his Master's degree this week. At least it's in a field he loves (Human Factors). I am doing well. I threw my back out yesterday, so I am hobbling along today. it's pretty much just the change in position that causes me the most pain, sitting to standing to laying down to getting up.

Only about 9 more weeks left here in Korea...time to squeeze in a few more camping trips before we leave!

here are 4 pics from Hawaii:

Unschoolers who go to school

Both of the girls, and Little Man too, are free to learn at their own pace. They are not forced to sit and do "school". Spy Girl has deadlines to meet for different things, but that's just like in life with meeting deadlines for commitments you've made, or for a job you have. Reading is learned at each kid's pace. Spelling is learned from sounding out words, or listening to mom slowly pronounce the word (instead of mom just spelling it), and through being given spelling words every now and then, especially when some obvious patterns in misspelling arise. Math is learned by Princess exclaiming the answers to word problems she came up with and figured out on her own, like, "There will be 5 apples left because we have 8 and we're eating 3 right now!" They each have a math notebook to do different problems, like skip counting, multiplication, division or whatever else they want to work on in math. It is a way of tracking progress, rather than making them learn anything. Same thing for science.

So if we just live life and don't "school" them, why does the title say, "Unschoolers who go to school"? Well, both girls attend a Korean elementary school 2 days a week for half day. Yes, Princess wanted to go to a Korean school all of her own accord! She's gone for a total of 5 days so far. At lunch Spy girl was using her chopsticks to make and name the Korean letters, Princess then took the chopsticks and put them in the shape of ㅅ and said, "she-ut" (ut like in put the book down). Wow. For those of you who do not know my middle child, this is huge. She is very particular and stubborn, and wanted nothing to do with being in Korea for the longest time. If we were staying another year she would be speaking Korean I'm sure. But, as is life, once she is accustomed to the idea of living here, we are getting ready to move. C'est le vie. At least she will be a little sponge for the last few months here.

Benign Rolandic Epilepsy

Yahaira has epilepsy.

As much as I have tried to not admit it, there is no denying it. Last night she had her 3rd seizure. After 3, you can't really believe it's a fluke and not going to happen again.

Her first one was a grand mal seizure on October 15, 2015. That one was terrifying. You can read about it here.

On January 14, 2016 she had another seizure. Since she had been sick with a fever and headache the day before, I attributed the seizure to that (even though she had been healthy for 24 hrs before having the seizure).

On January 27, 2016 she had another seizure. She was not sick and had not been sick since being sick 2 weeks prior.

Back in October, when she had her first seizure and spent 2 nights in a Korean hospital, we were told by the pediatric neurologist that she had Benign Rolandic Epilepsy. The doctor said that Yahaira would most likely seizure again. I didn't want to believe her. After going 2 months without another seizure, I didn't think she would have another one. Now she's had 2 more in a 2 week span.

I'm thankful that she should grow out of this around the age of puberty.

This abstract from a book on epilepsy explains pretty well what the seizures are like. She definitely makes the gurgling, drowning sounds, has hypersalivation, mouth draws to one side, shakes, has loss of consciousness (though this last time Yahaira said she was trying to tell me she was seizuring but couldn't), and it always occurs at the on-set of sleep. They seem to be getting shorter in length, or I'm just not hearing them until she's already been seizuring for a bit.

I know that she is made just how God wanted her to be made. This all is for His glory. Though I don't want this for her or me, I see how it is a way to refine us both to be more like Christ and dependent on  our Creator.

Attending a Korean School

This past year my oldest decided to attend the local Korean elementary school. I think she is the first and only American to attend this school because, when we went down to the school to see if she could attend it, the school staff was confused as to why she would want to attend the Korean school, not the American one. 

We homeschool, so there was no desire to send her to an English speaking school. The entire point of attending a Korean one was to be immersed in the Korean language (and hopefully learn some Korean because of it).

The Korean school year starts in March and ends in February. So, on March 2, 2015, my Little Mama started attending 초등학교 (elementary school in Korean). Being that she did not speak Korea, she was placed in the first grade, though age wise she would have been in the third or fourth grade. Her class consisted of 3 boys and 7 girls, including her. During the year, 1 boy & 1 girl moved and 1 new girl came.

The school year is year round with some breaks scattered throughout. There was a weeklong break the first week of May, then we got 2 weeks of no school due to the MERS outbreak...so that made it an early summer break....summer break was shortened to 2 weeks in August. Out of those 2 weeks, she attended a summer camp at her school for 1 of them (and her little sister joined in for the last day too). There is a winter break for 6 weeks or so too. It goes from late December to after the Lunar New Year. We ended up leaving early since my husband had to return to the States for work for 2.5 months. I mean, really, who wants to spend over 2 months apart from a spouse/Daddy when you have the ability to be together? That said, we decided to return to the States with Daddy. We will miss the end of the school year because we don't return until March.

I am very impressed with how much Korean she has learned during these past 10 months! She can write in Korean. Her spelling test scores are all over the place. Sometimes she gets 70%, even 100% at times, and other times she gets 30%. Truth be told, if she actually studied her spelling words (well, they are more sentences than single words) she would get far more 70-100% than 30%. But, she usually wants to fly through them to be able to go play with her BFFE. I don't mind the "low" grades. I know all the Korean letters and sounds, and, yet, I only got a 20% when I took a spelling test with her class (and 1 got a big fat 0 the last time I took spelling test with her class).

Her teacher truly has been wonderful! She is so kind. Here she is when she came to Little Mama's spring piano recital. She takes the kids outside a lot and they do a lot of arts and crafts.

Originally she went to school full day (Mon, Thurs, Fri 9am-12:50pm and Tues, Wed 9am-1:50pm). It didn't take long for the physical exhaustion to catch up to her. Being immersed in a foreign language is not only mentally exhausting, it causes people to be physically exhausted too. After a month or 2 we scaled back her attendance. Instead of going all day, she went Mon-Fri from 9am to lunch time (anywhere from noon to 12:30pm). This was much less draining on her. I no longer would find her passed out, asleep on the floor or couch.

Her school is small. Maybe 10-15 kids (at most) in each grade. It has grades 1-6, as well as a kindergarten. Maybe from being a small school, or maybe from the priority they place on it, the school seemed to go on field trips often, like every few months or so. My daughter got to go to a strawberry farm, a cherry farm, a safety experience center (simulates an earthquake, a fire and teaches other safety things), Anseong Farm, a boating/farming experience, as well as see a musical. Her school also put together a performance and dinner for the families.

Her teacher was wonderful. Some kids were very nice to her. Other kids were not so nice. The students saw her as "different." She is not Korean. She does not look Korean. She does not speak Korean (much). She does not understand Korean like they do. No one hit her (like I would see some kids doing to each other at various times...and I mean like all-out-cat-fight). Some kids would make fun of her. We don't know exactly what they were saying, but you know when you're being made fun of. The same girl would make fun of my attempts to communicate in Korean too. She would, also, be excluded at times. I think it was a little lonely for her.

Though I don't think she hated her year at school, I would say she is glad to be finished. She had a seizure in October and spent a week out of school. Afterwards she didn't want to return. I had told her at the start of the year that she could stop whenever she wanted (with the assumption that if she didn't like it she would stop after a month and not after people invested so much time into her). When she wanted to stop in October I felt bad. She had gone through most of the year already. We knew we were leaving in mid December, so I persuaded her to stick with it until we left. She did stick with it. She was blessed with a birthday party at school. Her teacher got her an awesome cake. We brought some pizza for the class.

Little Mama's teacher asked if she was going to continue to come to school when we got back in March. Yahaira was hesitant. She told her she didn't want to. Her teacher told her that she writes well, reads well and can understand Korean; she just doesn't speak it well. Her teacher told her to just come back to her class. Little Mama said she'd go twice a week. I think we'll go together. I can help the kids with math and English (and reading Korean...though not understanding most of it), and hopefully my Korean will improve too:)

As much as I've enjoyed seeing my daughter's Korean improve, I am glad this schooling adventure is over. It was tiring having to go pick her up every weekday at noon. It definitely did not make for "lazy" days. It also didn't allow us to really go explore much as a family. The 6 months before attending school, we would go off and explore Korea on day trips without a second thought. After enrolling her in school, our mornings were full and heading to Seoul at 1pm isn't really viable unless we want to eat out for dinner and return at bedtime. Now we'll be able to set out and explore, keeping 2 mornings set aside for improving our Korean. I hope this experience helps her to become a strong, confident person. I hope it helps her to be a friend to all, since she knows what it's like to be the outsider.

True love

If someone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for the one who does not love his brother whom he has seen, cannot love God whom he has not seen. And this commandment we have from Him, that the one who loves God should love his brother also. - 1 John 4:20-21

The Spirit was teaching me about love today. I seem to always be learning about how to love. I know, shocking right? It's definitely not something that comes naturally for me.

So all this stuff going on with Syrian refugees, ISIS, refusal to help, blah blah blah, etc, etc. There's a lot of opinion on the subjects and I don't care to join in. I do have some points to share with you believers. This is just what I've learned. What YHWH needs for me to understand. Let the Spirit teach you what you need to learn.

The verses above were brought to mind while I was cleaning this afternoon, after my oldest and I had had a short conversation about slavery and America's past. If I hate my brother, I can't claim to love God because it would make me a liar. I mean really. How can I say I love someone I've never physically met and say I hate someone made in that same image? And let me be sure, it is not your words that prove your love. It is what you do that proves your love. I was thinking about how so many Americans claimed to be Christians (by their actions alone it shows that they did not actually follow Christ) and yet they hated others who bore the image of God because of their skin color.

Then God said, “Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness; and let them rule over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the sky and over the cattle and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.” God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them. - Genesis 1:26-27

If we are all made in the image of God, why is it okay to hate anyone? And then I was shown my (same) hate. I wouldn't go around shouting that I hate Syrian or other militants. But in reality, wishing evil upon someone is the same as hating them. That is definitely not praying for my enemies!

“But I say to you who hear, love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. Whoever hits you on the cheek, offer him the other also; and whoever takes away your coat, do not withhold your shirt from him either. Give to everyone who asks of you, and whoever takes away what is yours, do not demand it back. Treat others the same way you want them to treat you. If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them. If you do good to those who do good to you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners do the same. If you lend to those from whom you expect to receive, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners in order to receive back the same amount. But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return; and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High; for He Himself is kind to ungrateful and evil men. Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful." - Luke 6:27-36

So I don't care about your stance on refugees. I care about you, brothers and sisters in Christ. What are you, you as in the individual reading this, you (not your brother, not your neighbor, not your pastor, not your governor, not your president), what are you going to do? Will you show the love of Christ to whoever needs it? Will you show that love to your enemies? There are many ways to demonstrate our love. Find the ways that YHWH has told you to demonstrate it and then go lavishly shower that love!

Go read about the "Good Samaritan" in Luke 10:25-37. Like Jesus said at the end:

Which of these three do you think proved to be a neighbor to the man who fell into the robbers’ hands?” And he said, “The one who showed mercy toward him.” Then Jesus said to him, “Go and do the same.” - Luke 10:36-37

I long to please my Savior. I long to honor Him through my life because He demonstrated His love for me. He ransomed me when I was still His enemy. He prayed for me when I was still His enemy. He showed me mercy when I was still His enemy. The least I can do is obey Him by "going and doing the same".

Learning

This is how we roll at night:

 I love them. I love the cuddles. 

She wanted to draw and write about what she learned during her kids' Bible lesson on Sunday. She was getting into detail about Pharaoh and Moses. Love! 

It was a rough morning. A rough day. Obviously it's a full moon tonight. I came home from teaching a homeschool class to this. My little fashionista wanted to make sure I ate since I didn't eat lunch.

Her she is doing portraits. I had to stand and model for her. It's tiring and hard to stand in the same position for an extended period of time. 

 Back at 학교. She looked tired when i picked her up at lunch.

On another note, we met with the pediatric neurologist yesterday. She said that the EEG showed normal activity while awake but abnormal when asleep. Makes sense. I feel her muscles twitch/randomly fire when she falls asleep.

The neurologist seemed to think that she'll probably experience another seizure. She said after 3 or 4 seizures we'll discuss medication. I'm not big on drugs, so I'm totally fine holding off of meds. I truly hope and pray that we don't have to experience another seizure, but at least we know what to do now.

We should have a follow up in 6 to 12 months to see if there are any changes. As of right now, they say she has benign rolandic epilepsy. Maybe. She had a grand mal seizure, involving her entire body, not a mild, localized one. Who knows.  She's home, alive and back to her normal little mama self. For that we praise YHWH! She's in His care. We'll praise Him no matter what.

This is not how we want to "seize" the day (night)!

Our beautiful, fun, spunky daughter had a seizure on Thursday night. It was the first time she, or any one from our family, has ever had a seizure. It was a terrifying experience. One were you realize just how powerless you are (as in through your own willpower). There was absolutely nothing we could do to stop it. All we could do was watch and pray.

Through the entire ordeal, we see YHWH's providential hand upon us.

• She wanted to sleep on the loft bed, which she never wants to/cares about. Daddy didn't want any more arguing, so he put an end to the bickering between the girls and said she got the top that night.
• Daniel and I were still awake and just watching a show on the computer. *mind you, we are hardly ever awake at 9:40pm. We go to bed before 9pm most nights!
• She did not fall off the top bunk when she started seizing.
• We were able to call for an ambulance and someone spoke English very well...mind you the local language is not English.
• Our community is full of people who care and love and show concern. 2 mommas stayed with our other 2 sleeping kids while we rode in the ambulance to the hospital.
• A neighbor is a doctor, and just being explained how the process works, how there's not normally damage, and many times it's a 1 time-doesn't-happen-again occurrence helped to ease our apprehension. He followed the ambulance to the hospital and helped us understand what to expect. The ER doctor spoke English well enough. The pediatric doctor didn't speak English.
• We were provided with another ambulance ride to a different hospital that has a pediatric neurologist.
• The second hospital ER staff spoke English well.
• The doctor from this morning spoke English well.
• Our insurance covers all of this.
• Our neighbors have been caring for our other 2 kids.
• So many people have offered to watch our kids, make us meals, pray for us and help us in any way possible.
• Pastor Garay and his wife and Chaplain Bryan have come to visit, talk and pray with (and over) us.

We truly are blessed beyond measure. We are so grateful for everything. I've been reminded to cherish each moment because I'm not guaranteed another day with any of my kids. I've been reminded to focus on loving rather than nagging my kids.

She does not look like she had a seizure, but she did just 3 hrs prior!

Off for an MRI, and starting to look more tired:

Starting to really look tired and beat:

Almost 24 hrs later. She looks exhausted, on edge, NOT peaceful. It breaks my heart. Every twitch, every moment of clenched teeth, every movement awakens me, hoping it's not the start of another seizure.

She has not had another one, PRAISE MY CREATOR!

So at 9:40pm on Thursday night, Oct 15, 2015 our daughter was sound asleep, but then she began shaking the bed. It was loud and I thought the girls were playing, so naturally I entered their room annoyed, thinking, "What is she doing?!" I climbed up the side of the bed to see what was up. I saw my daughter stiff as a contorted board , shaking, twitching, like someone was shaking and bouncing her all at once. She was foaming at the mouth, not responding to me and her eyes were like they were rolled back (I was peering over the bed from the top of her head). I threw on the light and yelled, "Daniel! Daniel! Yahaira's having a seizure!" He ran in all shaky, climbed up, got her and took her down while I called for help. He held her, trying to get her to "wake up". Her eyes were open at this point but staring into nothingness. She was not "there". He laid her down and tried to pry her mouth open because she looked like it was a struggle to breath. She clenched down and got his finger good. It took strength to keep her from seriously hurting his finger. After I got off the phone I ran to our neighbor's who's a doctor. He wasn't home. My daughter's friend had answered. She asked what was wrong and I told her Yahaira was seizuring as I started to run home. She seizured for 5-7 minutes in total. After she became responsive and said she had to pee, so Daniel put her down to go potty, only to watch her fall because she couldn't stand or walk. She tried to flush the toilet, but could only swing her left arm at the toilet. She didn't have muscle control to flush. She wanted to sleep, but Daniel kept trying to keep her awake. There wasn't anything for me to do, so I went to our community entrance to wait for the ambulance. And I waited. I asked for healing, safety and long life for her. It was then, with nothing to do...being so powerless and alone that I saw the blessings of the Spirit's leading. I immediately praised YHWH for all the things He did to provide and show His care. My helplessness turned to thankfulness.

During that praise session, the doctor and his wife pulled in. Their daughter had called them. My friend just hugged me, holding me and just letting me cry. It was relief to my weary soul. She waited with me for the ambulance while he husband went to check on my daughter. After the ambulance came, he followed us to the hospital to be support. He then gave Daniel a ride home while Yahaira and I were transferred to another hospital. Without out that ride, we would have been at the hospital without a car to drive home with.

Two friends stayed with our sleeping kids so neither of us had to leave Yahaira. At the 2nd hospital she started to wake up and finally became her normal goofy self after an hr. Maybe it was the IV fluids they started there right away, maybe it was God's healing,  maybe it was rest. Whatever it was, she perked up.

Since she had no fever, no cold, flu or other like illness and the seizure lasted so long, she was admitted to the hospital for observation,  an MRI and an EEG.

Now we wait...

On my plate

I've been sewing the past 2 days. Last night I made a duffel bag...I think I'll make my own pattern next time. Today I started making this bag. It's cute. I have to put bias tape around the circular holes and the opening. I don't know if I'll put a lining inside of this one or not. We'll see...though it will probably still be waiting to get finished next week. Tomorrow is a day to relax...and create the Qin Dynasty lapbook for my Ancient China class on Tuesday.

We've been busy. My sister came for a visit, we went camping, went to Tokyo, camped some more, climbed a wall, scrambled up mountains, are learning about Ancient China and the human body too,  and just seem to rarely be at home. It makes for a very tired momma.

a cold heart

The girls and I are reading through the book of Ezekiel right now. While we were reading tonight, the Holy Spirit humbled me.

Ezekiel chapter 9 starting in verse 3 through verse 8:

Then the glory of the God of Israel went up from the cherub on which it had been, to the threshold of the temple. And He called to the man clothed in linen at whose loins was the writing case. The Lord said to him, “Go through the midst of the city, even through the midst of Jerusalem, and put a mark on the foreheads of the men who sigh and groan over all the abominations which are being committed in its midst.” But to the others He said in my hearing, “Go through the city after him and strike; do not let your eye have pity and do not spare. Utterly slay old men, young men, maidens, little children, and women, but do not touch any man on whom is the mark; and you shall start from My sanctuary.” So they started with the elders who were before the temple. And He said to them, “Defile the temple and fill the courts with the slain. Go out!” Thus they went out and struck down the people in the city. As they were striking the people and I alone was left, I fell on my face and cried out saying, “Alas, Lord God! Are You destroying the whole remnant of Israel by pouring out Your wrath on Jerusalem?” - Ezekiel 9:3-8 

Am I that person? Would I receive a mark from YHWH? Would I be spared? Do I weep and mourn over other people's sin?

To be sure, it annoys me (other's sin). It even angers me at times. But do I ever cry over it? Do I weep because I know the destruction it brings? Do I weep because they are choosing damnation?

Sadly, I must admit that I don't. I've been hardened to their choices and though I greatly disagree with them I throw my hands up and say, "Whatever. It's your life and your choice to follow the path to hell." And then I go on with my life and care less that they choose death (because they refuse to listen to the only One who can give them life).

This ought not be! I ought to be like my Savior, weeping over Jerusalem because they refuse to listen.

Jesus help me! Give me a heart of flesh. A heart like You, that weeps for the sinners.

Say WHAT?!

I meant to post this earlier, but life is busy.

My "I wanna go back to Alabama" girl went to Korean school! On Thursday she went along with Yahaira to the half day camp at her school. We were out practicing riding bikes before the bus came, and when we went to meet the bus, she said that she wanted to go with her sister.

You don't seem to understand the implications of this. She is maturing by leaps and bounds this week! She decided she wanted to learn to ride a bike (and in our family, we don't use training wheels...so it's a two-wheeler or nothing for our kids), she willing (and unprompted) says goodbye to Mi Kyeong *IN KOREAN!*, she wants to practice writing spelling words, and she initiated seeking to go to the Korean school (for 1 day) all on her own!

*To be sure, she still doesn't like/want Koreans (or anyone else for that matter) touching her or her hair/face. However, she does not hate being here anymore, and we rarely hear references to AL anymore.

She is blossoming and so rapidly. My heart overflows with joy.

We have another bike rider in the family!

Look who picked up riding a two-wheeler last night. She wanted nothing to do with riding a bike until Tuesday evening. Less than 24hrs later she is off and pedaling around! When she's ready, she's ready!

my view

I never tire of the view. My phone never does the view justice. I really ought to take a photography class, because the beauty I see never really is conveyed in my pictures the same.

Burning like a star

This is a song I've been listening to lately. I pray that Christ will burn like a star and keep a fire in my heart. The entire CD, The Art Of Celebration, by Rend Collective is great.

DIY Canvas Scratch Art

My oldest loves the Eiffel Tower. She wants to go there for her 10 yr birthday trip. Being that she has a huge cityscape of Paris on her bedroom wall, I thought a homemade scratch art of the Eiffel Tower would go well.

Needed:
Canvas
Oil pastels
Acrylic paint
Paintbrush
Stencil (if desired)

• You take a canvas (mine was formerly watercolored on parts of it...which showed through in some areas) and cover the entire canvas with oil pastels. Coat it on thick:)

• Next, take your acrylic paint and cover the entire canvas with paint.

• Allow paint to dry.
• Next, place your stencil(s) *if using* on the canvas. Scratch an outline of the stencil (I used the pointy edge of a pen cap).

• If desired, scratch off the paint inside the outlined piece.

• Next, place your word stencils *if using* on the canvas and scratch out the letters.

• Enjoy and display in some place fun!

This project was an impulse one. I had a slightly used canvas, oil pastels and acrylic paint, so I set to work this morning making this. It took 3-3.5 hrs, including feeding kids breakfast, printing & cutting out stencils and dealing with whining kids. I owe my friend Kim for introducing me to homemade scratch art (on paper) last Friday. It sparked my creative side.

cargo pants to messenger bag

I turned a thrift store pair of men's cargo pants into a messenger bag. It was my first attempt aka learning process. I have another pair of women's cargo pants waiting to turn into a bag for my oldest.

The front has a cargo pocket:

The inside has a cargo pocket as well:

Learning not to judge

Before I came to Korea I had big ideas about what I would do while here. I planned to get involved with an orphanage. I was going to help the orphans.

Oh no I'm not. The Creator had a different plan for me. If I am to be more like Christ, I have to be more like Christ. I'm not conforming to the image of Christ if I am judging people. A lot of people. I thought I had already worked through that, but obviously not as much as I thought.

Now my judgements aren't very blunt and vocal any more, so I guess that's why I thought I'd worked through that *more than I really had*. However, leave it up to YHWH to orchestrate the details to bring about situations that show me just how little I've actually come (or how much farther I have to go...depending on how you want to view the glass...half full/half empty). I am so thankful for these growing pains. I am so thankful that the Holy Spirit opens my eyes to see that I really have no idea about anything, and that I am in no place to judge. I judge according to what *little* I see and it's not what it appears to be. Thank You Jesus for teaching me these hard lessons. And thank You for teaching them in a gentle and loving way!

Today I was able to learn just how much a mom does love her children, how much she sacrifices to provide for them. A love that would cause you to give your children over to complete strangers, in a foreign land, to keep during the week so you can work long hours to make enough money to send them to live with relatives in a different country. I just assumed that parents like this didn't want their kids around, didn't enjoy them, and dare I be honest and say I judged that they didn't love them as much as I love mine. Such hateful thoughts! How dare I judge like that. I have no idea how these parents are in these situations. I can assume, but that doesn't do any good. All I know, is today I saw a mom who loves her kids! Today I saw a mom who wants to be with her kids, but for whatever circumstances, must be separated from them in order to provide at the moment. I saw a mom who was waiting to see her kids, and was so excited to hold them. I saw a mom who, though she has no idea, taught me that love in hard places doesn't mean it's less of a love than what I have for my kids.

So I guess we moved to Korea so I could have an eye opening. I guess we moved to Korea to teach me how to love like Christ. I guess we moved to Korea to slay that Pharisee that wants to show it's nasty self in me. I guess we moved to Korea to break down my prejudices, my unfounded logic, my hatefulness.

Abba, Father, mold me into the image of Christ! Continue the work You've started in me, and continue to perfect it until the day I die!